If you are contemplating divorce, financial advisor Lisa M. Gabriel of Axius Financial believes that there are concrete steps you can take before initiating a divorce to help lessen the turmoil of the divorce process.
The following advice is contained in her guide for clients going through a divorce:
How much a family law case will cost is the number one fear of clients. When asked how much something will cost, family law attorneys have a tendency to reply with: “I’m not sure, it depends on… (fill in the blank).” This leaves clients with no way to gauge how much they are looking at paying with very little control over their case and their bill. Many clients also become afraid to call or email their attorney thinking they cannot possibly afford every phone call and email.
However, there are ways that clients can help to control the costs of their case:
Tip #1: Keep your communications short and sweet.
Tip #2: Organize your documents.
Tip #3: Before requesting your attorney to handle something for you, determine if it is something you could do for yourself.
Tip #4: Don’t use your attorney as a therapist.
Tip #5: Be open to compromise – and the goal of getting to the end.
Family law is never a win-win situation, and it costs both sides in the end. However, costs can be kept down if you keep these tips in mind.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
In her article “9 Questions to Keep Your Divorce Lawyer Honest,” Diane Mercer (attorney, mediator and author) advocates asking specific and tough questions of your divorce attorney.
I think these are wonderful questions to ask BEFORE you hire an attorney.
Beware of the attorney that says that there is no worst case scenario, that your case has a slam dunk argument, or that he/she is 100% certain your argument will prevail. This type of attorney just wants your money.
Any competent attorney knows that the outcome of a divorce is never guaranteed or certain and should be more than willing to give you honest answers to these questions.
As a client, having your expectations set prior to litigation is essential to help you manage your emotions and expectations during the process.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
Here are some good tips to keep in mind when searching for a Family Law Attorney from the Huffington Post.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
I am asked this question quite a bit from prospective clients. Many of them believe that hiring an attorney who is a “pit bull” (i.e., aggressive, demanding, and litigious) will serve them well in their family law case. This belief could not be further from the truth.
An effective family law attorney knows when to be aggressive, when to be demanding, but also when to be agreeable, when to offer suggestions to move the case along, and when to listen. This type of attorney can advocate strenuously when called upon, but can compromise when the situation calls for it.
More often than not, a pit bull attorney will only succeed in making your case drag out longer and at a higher cost to you, both financially and emotionally.
Michael Sherman, an estate planning and family law attorney in Alabama, wrote an insightful article on this very topic: ”The Style of your Divorce Lawyer: The Lamb, the Pit Bull and the Fox.”
In his article, he wrote:
The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow. They are reactive, not proactive. They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should. The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable. Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.
Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite. They hate to settle cases. In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases. It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.”
The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client. Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.
The fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.”
Mr. Sherman wisely recommends that clients look for a fox. I couldn’t agree more.
In the process of your legal proceedings, you may be required to participate in a deposition. If so, the deposition will be very important to your case. It’s part of what the law calls “discovery” which allows attorneys the opportunity to ask you questions.
Most people have never had their deposition taken so they aren’t aware of what takes place during a deposition. As with most anything in life, being prepared for what you will encounter is half the battle.
If your spouse’s attorney schedules a deposition, be ready. These are the “Ten Tips for Your Deposition” that we give to clients:
1. Depositions are not conversations.
Depositions are formal, legal proceedings. However, all those who are involved in any type of litigation have a natural urge to tell their story. Resist this urge. The time to tell your story will be at trial when a judge is there to hear you. Opposing counsel is conducting this deposition to learn everything he can about your case. You are not there to make the other side understand your story. Be polite, but do not make small talk. If there is no question pending, do not say anything.
2. You cannot win your case at a deposition.
Do not help opposing counsel understand your case. Give them as little information as possible while still telling the truth.
3. Think before you answer.
Take your time. Make sure you understand the questions. Do not tell the attorney asking the questions what you think he or she wants to know. Just answer the question asked of you.
4. Keep your answer short.
When you give lengthy answers, you are revealing more information and giving opposing counsel ideas for more questions.
5. Never guess.
You might be wrong. If you do not know the answer, say you do not know. If you do not understand the questions, say so. You may say, “What do you mean by that?”
6. Do not volunteer any information.
If there is a silence, do not fill it in with talk.
7. Do not get angry.
Becoming angry sometimes will make you reveal too much information and will send the message that you are ill-prepared to be a witness and cannot control yourself. The attorney for the other side will try to take advantage of that weakness at your deposition and at trial.
8. Make eye contact.
Look at the attorney asking you questions. Stay calm.
9. Stop talking when your attorney objects.
There are two types of objections. Neither can be made if you are talking. When I (your attorney) say, “I object,” stop talking. I may merely be making an objection to mark a place in the transcript where an important question and answer can be deleted by the Court. If this happens during the deposition, then after I have made the objection, I will permit you to answer the question.
On the other hand, some questions are completely improper and should never get an answer. In such a situation, I will tell you not to answer the questions. Follow my instructions. The other side may then obtain a court order to get an answer.
10. Do not disclose anything your attorney has told you.
Everything I tell you is privileged and not subject to an involuntary disclosure to any third party, including opposing counsel. And whatever our paralegal and secretaries have said to you verbally or in writing is privileged. Never volunteer such information. If a question is calling for such information, I will object and instruct you not to answer.
If you follow these 10 Tips when you are being deposed, your deposition will go well and not be excessively long. For best results, be prepared and understand what is expected of you by your attorney — in our practice, we are here to help clients by making a necessary legal process as manageable and comfortable as possible.
I recently came across “Divorce Rates by State: Which States Have the Highest” on the Huffington Post showing the results after the Wall Street Journal crunched the numbers to find out which states have the highest divorce rates in the nation.
Nevada isn’t a big surprise as #1 but some of the others might not be expected.
Meeting with lawyers can be like meeting with doctors.
When people are anxious or under emotional stress, it’s proven that people only retain about 30% of what we tell them. For this reason, our team created a reference guide called “Family Law: Understanding It, Working Through It, Moving On.” It’s packed with useful information about Missouri law, tips and pointers to help you along the way, instructions to complete the forms you will encounter throughout the process, and a list of resources for you and your family.
Right now it’s available for our clients, but soon this guide will be published and available on this blog as a downloadable eBook so that anyone contemplating divorce can have this information at their fingertips.
