Recently I was interviewed by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on the topic of stalking or tracking a spouse using technology. In the article “Stalkers find friend in GPS technology,” I share what I have been seeing related to the use of technology to spy or track spousal activities or whereabouts:
Sophya Qureshi Raza, a private attorney who practices family law in the St. Louis region, said she has seen an increasing number of instances over the past year, including three she handled.
The worst of them, she said, involved a husband in St. Louis County who downloaded software into his wife’s phone to show her location and record her conversations. The wife found out, Raza said, by finding a purchase receipt under couch cushions.
Raza, a partner at Danna McKitrick, successfully argued that the husband’s actions constituted stalking under Missouri’s adult abuse law and required a protective order, the same result as in her other two cases.
But most often, she said, judges allow such tracking in divorce cases, unless there is a clear threat or harassment.
“I think it’s a case where the statute hasn’t caught up with technology,” the lawyer said.
Read the full article here.
Unfortunately, for many divorced families, the holidays can be a stressful and emotional time. The joyfulness of the holidays can be replaced with feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness…not only for parents, but for their children as well.
The holidays are a busy time for family law attorneys, with parents often butting heads over holiday plans, visitation schedules, winter vacations, out-of-town travel, family events…the list goes on and on.
Keep these tips in mind to decrease not only the anxiety surrounding the holidays, but hopefully your lawyer bills as well:
How much a family law case will cost is the number one fear of clients. When asked how much something will cost, family law attorneys have a tendency to reply with: “I’m not sure, it depends on… (fill in the blank).” This leaves clients with no way to gauge how much they are looking at paying with very little control over their case and their bill. Many clients also become afraid to call or email their attorney thinking they cannot possibly afford every phone call and email.
However, there are ways that clients can help to control the costs of their case:
Tip #1: Keep your communications short and sweet.
Tip #2: Organize your documents.
Tip #3: Before requesting your attorney to handle something for you, determine if it is something you could do for yourself.
Tip #4: Don’t use your attorney as a therapist.
Tip #5: Be open to compromise – and the goal of getting to the end.
Family law is never a win-win situation, and it costs both sides in the end. However, costs can be kept down if you keep these tips in mind.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
I recently had a case where the husband, unbeknownst to wife, had downloaded “spy phone software” directly to her cell phone. This software enabled the husband to listen to his wife’s actual phone calls. It turned her cell phone into a GPS tracker, intercepted and read her texts, email messages and call logs, and allowed him to use her cell phone to bug a room.
This software, available at an annual cost of anywhere from $39.99 to $349 depending on the features purchased, is specifically targeted towards spouses who want to “catch” their cheating spouse.
In very, very tiny print at the bottom of its home page, this company states:
“It is the responsibility of the user…to ascertain, and obey, all applicable laws in their country in regard to the use of…for ‘sneaky purposes’. If you are in doubt, consult your local attorney before using…. By downloading and installing…, you represent that…will be used in only a lawful manner. Logging other people’s SMS messages & other phone activity or installing…on another person’s phone without their knowledge can be considered as an illegal activity in your country.”
This language should be in ALL CAPS at the very top of the page in a huge font! I think that in most states it would be impossible to use this software “in only a lawful manner.” In the state of Missouri, it is illegal to intercept a person’s emails as well as listen to phone calls to which you are not a party. In addition, it is also a crime under federal law to intercept another person’s email.
I argued in this case that the husband’s actions in tracking wife with GPS constituted “stalking” under Missouri’s adult abuse law. And the judge agreed. Several states have taken this position as well. Not only is this stalking, but the husband’s actions in intercepting her emails and text messages are illegal.
What is perhaps most frightening is the only reason the wife discovered that the software had been downloaded on her phone was because she found the actual receipt of the download purchase made by the husband under a sofa cushion. If she hadn’t found this, she would have had absolutely no idea that her privacy was being invaded in such an atrocious manner. The website boasts that a person only need access to the “target” phone for the initial software download. After the download, all settings can be changed remotely. The husband’s installation of this software on his wife’s phone allowed him to receive via email of all of her text messages, call logs and emails, even if she deleted them from her phone.
The moral of this story: beware of websites that are selling this type of software. Just because it’s for sale, doesn’t mean it is legal to use. And don’t let your cell phone out of your sight.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
In their article “9 Nasty Things That Divorcing Spouses Say to One Another,” J. Richard Kulerski and Kari Cornelison explain nine of the threatening tactics most used by one spouse against another in a divorce.
I often have clients calling in a panic over one of these statements.
It is important to realize that the vast majority of these comments are not true, will likely never happen and are a result of your spouse trying to control you and the situation.
As always, consult your attorney before giving away the farm because you feel threatened.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
I came across this great article about how to deal with emailing your spouse/ex-spouse.
Taking the emotion out of your correspondence will go a long way in keeping the peace.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers published a new survey finding that Facebook is the main reason behind one-fifth of divorces in the United States. 81% of attorneys have reported an increase in the number of cases that relied on evidence gathered from social networking sites for filing for divorce.
While I too have seen a marked increase in evidence gathered from social networking sites, I do not believe that Facebook is to “blame” for this increase. If a spouse is going to cheat, he or she will find a way. Perhaps sites such as Facebook make it easier, but it’s certainly a stretch to claim that Facebook is the cause of extra-marital affairs.
I have seen a rise in the use of electronic evidence to prove affairs, whether it be a site like Facebook, text messages or emails. It’s simply easier these days to have communications with other people that your spouse in unaware of. Clients looking to file for divorce need to be aware of this trend prior to filing.
