I recently had a case where the husband, unbeknownst to wife, had downloaded “spy phone software” directly to her cell phone. This software enabled the husband to listen to his wife’s actual phone calls. It turned her cell phone into a GPS tracker, intercepted and read her texts, email messages and call logs, and allowed him to use her cell phone to bug a room.
This software, available at an annual cost of anywhere from $39.99 to $349 depending on the features purchased, is specifically targeted towards spouses who want to “catch” their cheating spouse.
In very, very tiny print at the bottom of its home page, this company states:
“It is the responsibility of the user…to ascertain, and obey, all applicable laws in their country in regard to the use of…for ‘sneaky purposes’. If you are in doubt, consult your local attorney before using…. By downloading and installing…, you represent that…will be used in only a lawful manner. Logging other people’s SMS messages & other phone activity or installing…on another person’s phone without their knowledge can be considered as an illegal activity in your country.”
This language should be in ALL CAPS at the very top of the page in a huge font! I think that in most states it would be impossible to use this software “in only a lawful manner.” In the state of Missouri, it is illegal to intercept a person’s emails as well as listen to phone calls to which you are not a party. In addition, it is also a crime under federal law to intercept another person’s email.
I argued in this case that the husband’s actions in tracking wife with GPS constituted “stalking” under Missouri’s adult abuse law. And the judge agreed. Several states have taken this position as well. Not only is this stalking, but the husband’s actions in intercepting her emails and text messages are illegal.
What is perhaps most frightening is the only reason the wife discovered that the software had been downloaded on her phone was because she found the actual receipt of the download purchase made by the husband under a sofa cushion. If she hadn’t found this, she would have had absolutely no idea that her privacy was being invaded in such an atrocious manner. The website boasts that a person only need access to the “target” phone for the initial software download. After the download, all settings can be changed remotely. The husband’s installation of this software on his wife’s phone allowed him to receive via email of all of her text messages, call logs and emails, even if she deleted them from her phone.
The moral of this story: beware of websites that are selling this type of software. Just because it’s for sale, doesn’t mean it is legal to use. And don’t let your cell phone out of your sight.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
My secretary sent me a link to this wonderful yet heartbreaking article: “If Your Kids Could Make the Rules of Divorce.”
It’s a great reminder for parents going through a divorce and its aftermath of how your behavior can seriously affect your children.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
In their article “9 Nasty Things That Divorcing Spouses Say to One Another,” J. Richard Kulerski and Kari Cornelison explain nine of the threatening tactics most used by one spouse against another in a divorce.
I often have clients calling in a panic over one of these statements.
It is important to realize that the vast majority of these comments are not true, will likely never happen and are a result of your spouse trying to control you and the situation.
As always, consult your attorney before giving away the farm because you feel threatened.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
Eleven years ago, the United States Supreme Court decided Troxel v. Granville. This case ultimately decided that fit parents are presumed to act in their children’s best interests and that no state should interfere to second guess the decisions of the parents in denying grandparents visitation with their children.
Many states rewrote their grandparent visitation laws following the Supreme Court’s decision. Today, state grandparent visitation laws vary widely from prohibiting grandparents from seeing their grandchildren unless the parents agree to courts applying a “best interest” standard in determining whether grandparents can visit their grandchildren despite the parents’ wishes.
In Missouri, for example, a court may grant reasonable visitation to grandparents when:
However, if the parents are legally married and living together with the child, the parent is presumed to know what is in the best interest of the child. Missouri’s statute is seen as one of the more “parent-friendly” laws in the country.
The Supreme Court will be deciding whether to hear an Alabama case striking down that state’s grandparent visitation law as unconstitutional. Officials in Hawaii, Louisiana, Ohio, Michigan and Washington have also joined in the request. The law in Alabama allowed grandparent visitation despite the parents’ wishes.
This issue is one surrounded by high emotions and much debate. Parents believe that they should determine who can spend time with their children and that the courts shouldn’t be able to step in to order grandparent visitation over their objections. The litigation in these circumstances vary from intact two-parent families being sued by grandparents to situations stemming from tumultuous divorces and remarriages, disputes with one parent after another dies, and other cases.
If you find yourself in this situation, as either a parent or a grandparent, remember that court does not bring families together. In fact, it does quite the opposite.
Missouri has a mediation provision for grandparents in this situation, which provides that a grandparent denied visitation can request court ordered mediation.
Sometimes, this is the least traumatic avenue to pursue.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
In her article “9 Questions to Keep Your Divorce Lawyer Honest,” Diane Mercer (attorney, mediator and author) advocates asking specific and tough questions of your divorce attorney.
I think these are wonderful questions to ask BEFORE you hire an attorney.
Beware of the attorney that says that there is no worst case scenario, that your case has a slam dunk argument, or that he/she is 100% certain your argument will prevail. This type of attorney just wants your money.
Any competent attorney knows that the outcome of a divorce is never guaranteed or certain and should be more than willing to give you honest answers to these questions.
As a client, having your expectations set prior to litigation is essential to help you manage your emotions and expectations during the process.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
I came across this great article about how to deal with emailing your spouse/ex-spouse.
Taking the emotion out of your correspondence will go a long way in keeping the peace.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
Here are some good tips to keep in mind when searching for a Family Law Attorney from the Huffington Post.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
In Missouri, child support is determined by the Form 14. Up until recently, if you were the spouse paying child support and shared roughly equal custody with the other parent, you were entitled to up to a 34% adjustment which reduced your child support obligation. This credit was based upon how many overnights you had with the child.
The Missouri House of Representatives has passed a new bill in May of 2011 that directs the Missouri Supreme Court to amend the child support guidelines in this regard. Now parents who share equal or substantially equal time with their children may be entitled to an adjustment of up to 50% of their child support obligation. This could have the effect of substantially reducing a parent’s child support obligation in those cases of joint custody.
Missouri law provides that your child support obligation is modifiable, i.e. you can request that the court increase or decrease it. If it has been a few years since you have visited revising the terms of your child support, or you have never modified your support, this change may be a good reason to have it reviewed by an attorney to see if your child support can be modified.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
An appellate court in Illinois has (thankfully) dismissed a lawsuit against a mom, Kimberly Garrity, by her adult children for “bad mothering.” Amongst their complaints supporting their request for damages for emotional distress were: Garrity had told her son to buckle his seat belt; had called her daughter at midnight while she was at homecoming, requesting she come home; sending son a birthday card without any money; failing to take her daughter to a car show and changing her last name after the divorce. And if this isn’t ridiculous enough, the son and daughter were championed by their attorney father, Steven A. Miner, who helped to represent them. He stated: “[I] only filed the lawsuit after much legal research and had tried to dissuade [my] children from bringing the case.” As an attorney, but more importantly as a father, he should be ashamed. Did he really believe that he was working for justice? Or was he just motivated by pure hatred of his ex-wife?
After Kimberly and Steven were divorced in 1995, the children moved in with their dad. They were 7 and 4 at the time. The fact that these children filed such a lawsuit against their mother is an indication of how these parents handled their divorce. Yes, the children are now adults and should know better. But I believe that how these parents conducted themselves in their divorce and in the years following contributed to this ridiculousness.
Emotions are at an all time high during a divorce, especially when children are involved. Serious damage can be done to children who are caught in the crossfire between two parents battling for control.
Even though it’s very difficult to resist the urge to bad mouth the other parent, think of your children before you do so.
Posted by Attorney Sophya Qureshi Raza. Raza practices family law where she effectively guides clients through dissolution of marriage, modifications of prior judgments, and resolving child custody and paternity disputes. She also helps families with legal guardianships and conservatorships for the elderly and disabled.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers published a new survey finding that Facebook is the main reason behind one-fifth of divorces in the United States. 81% of attorneys have reported an increase in the number of cases that relied on evidence gathered from social networking sites for filing for divorce.
While I too have seen a marked increase in evidence gathered from social networking sites, I do not believe that Facebook is to “blame” for this increase. If a spouse is going to cheat, he or she will find a way. Perhaps sites such as Facebook make it easier, but it’s certainly a stretch to claim that Facebook is the cause of extra-marital affairs.
I have seen a rise in the use of electronic evidence to prove affairs, whether it be a site like Facebook, text messages or emails. It’s simply easier these days to have communications with other people that your spouse in unaware of. Clients looking to file for divorce need to be aware of this trend prior to filing.
